EBW Episode 25, Part 2

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or series.

Extreme Bishoujo Wrestling: Episode twenty-five.  How Long is Forever?

The camera fades in on Haruka Gracia's office.  Haruka is sitting behind her desk, taking a few deep breaths to calm herself down, making her lunar bust wobble as Dejiko and Puchiko sit facing her.

Konata: Welcome back to Extreme Bishoujo Wrestling, that was the last break on our last free TV show...

Haruka: Well, the good news for you, Dejiko, is thanks to that brawl earlier tonight, your match against the Devil Lady has been cancelled.  But I still want to know why you attacked her last week.

Dejiko: Well... Dejiko thought that Puchiko was the one who pulled the thread on Hell Correspondence, nyo.  So I did it so that at least Dejiko could pardon her sin by joining Hell Correspondence with Puchiko, nyo.  But after finding out it wasn't Puchiko, Dejiko has kind of been crapping her pants thinking about taking on the Devil Lady, nyo.  Good thing there's not enough time for that to be rescheduled, nyo.

Haruka: Yes, indeed... you probably found out that there's going to be a Tag Team Trophy as well.  And since the TLC match at Strictly Hardcore was such a big hit, it's once again going to be a TLC match at EBW Forever.  The two of you against FLCL and Uranus & Neptune.  Good luck... I think.

Dejiko and Puchiko stand up, bow, and walk out of the office.  The camera follows them outside as Puchiko closes the door and the two stand out in the right hallway.

Puchiko: What you did was really, really dumb, nyu.

Dejiko: But your words really touched my heart, nyo.  I thought you were so sad that you'd go do something that brash, and I didn't wanna be responsible, nyo.

Puchiko: You're a real selfish, mean, lazy jerk, nyu.

Dejiko starts to tear up, but Puchiko reaches over and gives her a big hug.

Puchiko: But Puchiko has something Hell Correspondence doesn't, nyu.  Puchiko has hope, nyu.

The two hug it out as the camera pans to the backstage area.  FLCL are talking strategy while Sailor Moon stands staring blankly at the ground, the Full Moon title around her waist.  Ryoko keeps a watchful eye on the three while Osaka still doesn't seem to know what she wants from the vending machine.  As soon as Lina Inverse finishes wolfing down the contents of the catering table, she makes her way over to the group.  She stands within a couple feet of Sailor Moon, who slowly looks up, staring Lina Inverse in the face with that dead, blank stare.

Konata: A couple announcements... the media team is telling me that the main event is next, and during the break, Miss Gracia banned anybody from being at ringside.  No Hell Correspondence, no Inner or Outer Senshi, nobody.  Also, there's gonna be a 20-woman battle royal to kick off the first night, comprised of all the bishoujo who've never won a title and aren't otherwise booked.  That means everyone who's ever wrestled an EBW sanctioned match is going to be at EBW Forever.

Lina: I feel bad for you, Usagi.  I really do.  But not for the reasons you might think.  I stayed at home last week because I knew the Inner Senshi were banned from the arena, but I watched every minute of the show.  But to throw everything away because you're feeling more hate than love... I hate to say, but that kind of exposes what kind of a person you are.  Hell, I don't pretend to be a hero.  I'm a bounty-slash-treasure hunter; I do it for the money.  But there are been a lot of times where me and my crew, whether it was Gourry and the gang or just me and Naga, have had to choose doing the right thing over getting paid, and in the end we didn't make a lick of money.  But I grit my teeth and move on, not because of popularity, not because of money, but because it's the right thing to do.  That's something you obviously don't feel.  And that's why I feel sorry for you, Usagi.  Because you were one of the greatest heroes the world has ever known... but only now do we find out, you were doing it for the wrong reasons.  That's why I'm going to have the power to defeat you at EBW Forever, you and all of your Inner Senshi friends... no, at this point, they're really enablers.  But you know who I really feel bad for, Usagi?  Chibiusa.  I mean, you're her mother, right?  If you're setting this kind of example, how...

Something clicks in Sailor Moon's eyes and she leaps forward, thrusting out one leg and sending Lina sailing with the Sweet Moon Music superkick.  Ryoko and Osaka run over to her aid as FLCL's theme music hits.  Haruko gives Lina the finger as Mamimi shrugs her shoulders, and the two make their entrance.  As Lina slowly gets to her feet, Sailor Moon's theme hits and she too leaves.

Konata: You think deep down, Sailor Moon knew Lina was right?  That's why she attacked her?

Osaka and Ryoko help Lina to her feet and Lina tries to shake off the dizziness.  Osaka's theme starts playing and she starts walking towards the entrance curtain, but stops and looks back over her shoulder.

Osaka: Let's walk out together.  It'll be our last opportunity, right, Ryoko?

Ryoko shakes her head as she, Lina and Osaka all leave the backstage area as one.  The camera cuts to the ring area itself as the three make their way down to the ring and slide in, staring down Sailor Moon and the reformed FLCL.

Konata: Everyone seems to be on the same page and momentum is on the line.  It's the final free TV match before we pack up and go back to Japan for the two-night farewell that is EBW Forever.  Ryoko Hakubi and Ayumu 'Osaka' Kasuga, opponents in our EBW Forever main event, team with #1 Contender Lina Inverse to take on Full Moon champion Sailor Moon and the longest reigning champions of any kind in EBW history, Haruhara Haruko and Samejima Mamimi, and everyone is banned from ringside!

---

The referee arbitrarily picked Haruhara Haruko and Osaka to start the match, and Haruko laid right into Osaka with a series of violent punches, rattling Osaka's brain even further that it usually was.  Haruko followed up by tossing Osaka into the ropes, but on the rebound Osaka drove an elbow into Haruko's gut, doubling her over.  She grabbed Haruko by the waist, apparently going for a Piledriver, but Haruko suddenly stood up and Osaka went flying over her head, slamming into the mat behind her.  With a sickening grin Haruko stomped on Osaka's ribs a few times before grabbing her by the hair and standing her up.  She tossed Osaka into the turnbuckle, but as soon as Haruko ran after her, Osaka got one leg up and creamed Haruko right in the mush with Haruko's own momentum.  As a dazed Haruko turned around, Osaka climbed up to the second turnbuckle and clasped both hands above her head, slamming them down as she leapt down and nailing Haruko right in the back with a Double Axe Handle.

Now, with Haruko on her knees, Osaka gleefully tagged in Ryoko.  The pirate immediately ran into the ring and as soon as Haruko was on her feet, Ryoko flew forward and slammed her to the mat, landing on top of her.  She mounted Haruko's waist and immediately laid into her with a cruel series of punches right to Haruko's face, a powerful Ground 'n' Pound.  Mamimi immediately ran in and leapt forward, slamming one knee in Ryoko's face to force her to let go and stagger to the mat.  It seemed like FLCL was picking up right where they'd left off as Mamimi went right back to the apron.  Haruko felt the swelling black eye she'd gotten from the nasty punches and immediately launched at Ryoko with a series of fists of her own.  Any semblance of actual wrestling was broken as the two swung punch after punch at each other, more like a bare knuckle brawl than a wrestling match.

Eventually the referee forced the two to break it up, and Ryoko dejectedly tagged in Lina Inverse.  Lina grinned and demanded that Haruko tag in Sailor Moon so she could sink her teeth into her before the Full Moon Title match at EBW Forever.  Haruko staggered over to her corner... and tagged in Mamimi.  Lina grunted in frustration as Mamimi ran right at her, but Lina was able to wrap her arms around Mamimi's waist and lifted her up, using Mamimi's own momentum to slam her to the mat with a Belly-to-Back Suplex.  Immediately following up, Lina extended one of Mamimi's arms and laid perpendicular to her so that her arm was wrapped in between Lina's legs and her hand was gripped by Lina's hands.  Lina wrenched and pulled with a powerful Armbar, trying to rip Mamimi's arm out of its socket.

Haruko ran into the ring to try to break up the submission, but Osaka was in first.  She headbutted Haruko as soon as she was within range, doubling her over, grabbed Haruko by the waist and both sat down and pulled upwards at the same time, driving Haruko's skull into the mat between Osaka's legs with a classic Piledriver.  Sailor Moon didn't move as Mamimi finally laid a foot on the ropes, forcing Lina to break the hold.  She did, standing up and pulling Mamimi to her feet by her hair.  She tossed Mamimi into the far ropes, but Mamimi caught herself and tagged in Sailor Moon instead.  Lina grinned, but screamed as Moon immediately tagged in Haruko, whose black eye was very swollen at this point.

Lina went back to her corner, tagging in Osaka.  The young schoolgirl ran right into a nasty series of right hands by Haruko as Mamimi climbed into the ring.  Haruko hurriedly whipped Osaka into the ropes and wrapped her arms around her on the rebound, sending her flying over her head.  Mamimi turned away and leapt in the air, wrapping her arm around the front of Osaka's neck midair and the two brought her down with the devastating Atomsk Drop.  Haruko went for the pin as both Ryoko and Lina ran into the ring.  Mamimi was able to stop Lina with an elbow to the gut, but Ryoko slipped by and kicked Haruko in the back, forcing her to break the pin.

Ryoko kept furiously stomping on a downed Haruko as Mamimi tried to follow up on her attack on Lina, only for Lina to grab her by the head and toss her out of the ring itself.  That was when Sailor Moon finally made her move... as the referee was distracted trying to pull Ryoko away, reminding her that Osaka and Haruko were the legal participants, Sailor Moon hit her pose and leapt forward, cracking Lina with the Sweet Moon Music, a superkick that rattled Lina's brain and sent her flopping to the mat.  As Osaka slowly staggered to her feet, Haruko laid into her with a nasty series of punches.  As Sailor Moon went back to her corner and Ryoko was forced to go back to her corner, Mamimi rolled right back into the ring.  As Mamimi got to her feet, Haruko grabbed Osaka by the arm and tossed her into the far ropes, obviously going for another Atomsk Drop to completely put Osaka under.  But Lina broke the potential move as she leapt into the air, made her body completely horizontal and jutted both legs out, cracking Mamimi in the face with the Dragon Slave Dropkick, the best damned dropkick in the business, period.  On the rebound, Haruko was completely shocked as Osaka stumbled, apparently tripping over her own feet.  But as she walked over towards her, Osaka immediately leapt forward with both arms outstretched, crashing into Haruko like a torpedo with the Sata Andagi Spear.

After nailing Haruko with her finisher, Osaka was barely able to crawl over and lay on top of Haruko.  Mamimi was out from the Dragon Slave Dropkick, but Sailor Moon ran into the ring to try to break up the pin.  What she was met with, however, was Ryoko kicking her in the stomach, doubling her over.  Ryoko turned away, wrapped one arm around the back of Moon's neck and immediately sat down, jacking Sailor Moon's jaw against her shoulder with the Pirate Bitch Stunner.  With both Sailor Moon and Samejima Mamimi knocked out by Ryoko Hakubi's and Lina Inverse's respective finishers, it seemed as if this one was over... but suddenly Haruko lifted her leg onto the ropes, forcing the pin to be broken!

Lina and Ryoko looked on in surprise as the referee kept yelling for everyone to get back to their respective corners.  Ryoko defied that order and whispered in Osaka's ear, something that gave Osaka a wide grin.  Osaka and Ryoko turned away from each other as Ryoko pulled Haruko up by her hair, giving her another fist to her black eye.  As Lina Inverse rolled the unconscious Sailor Moon and Samejima Mamimi out of the ring, Ryoko tossed Haruko into the far ring ropes.  On the rebound, she wrapped her arms around Haruko and connected with the Suplex, while Osaka jumped up and connected with the Neckbreaker... the two slammed Haruko to the ground with her FLCL's own Atomsk Drop finisher!  As Ryoko rolled out of the ring to help Lina pummel Sailor Moon and Mamimi, Osaka got the straight-up pinfall this time, giving her team the final free TV victory.

---

Konata: What a hell of a finish by our two EBW Forever main eventers.  The two were able to knock it out, and with Lina Inverse helping out, we end our final free TV main event on a high note.

Osaka stands up as Lina and Ryoko roll into the ring and the three celebrate their victory.  Ryoko and Osaka roll out of the ring, keeping an eye on each other as Lina stays in the ring to celebrate.  Suddenly, just as Osaka and Ryoko get onto the entrance stage, they hurriedly step aside as Sailor Jupiter, Mars, Mercury and Venus emerge, running down the ring and rolling in to pummel Lina.

Konata: Talk about your opportunists.  How is Lina gonna overcome five-on-one odds at EBW Forever?

Osaka and Ryoko start to turn to help, until Team Saturn... Sailor Saturn, the Devil Lady, Lain Iwakura and Major Kusanagi... run in and roll into the ring, adding to the brawl.  This promptly calls out Hell Correspondence... Hell Girl, Asuka Langley Soryu and Panty & Stocking... to enter and roll into the ring as well, adding to the violent brawl.

Konata: It's an Ultimate Jeopardy match at EBW Forever... among other rules, if you're the one who loses the match for your team, you've got a punishment game coming.

The entire Hardcore division immediately runs out, ten women adding to the slug-fest already in the ring.  As soon as Di Gi Charat and Uranus & Neptune make their entrances, adding to the brawl, there are 30 women in the ring brawling all at once.

Konata: The Hardcore Cup and the Tag Team Cup, don't forget about those... it's gonna be a Hardcore Checklist match and a good ol' fashioned TLC match, respectively.

Princess Ayeka makes her entrance, mic in hand, but she doesn't even get halfway down the entrance ramp before Ukyo runs out, hauling out her giant spatula and flattening her onto the entrance ramp.

Konata: Ukyo's definitely gonna want to get revenge for being fired and bloodied by Princess Ayeka, and since neither have any more managerial power, this Hardcore match is all about pride and revenge.

Both Ukyo and Ayeka are trampled, however, as a massive swarm of bishoujo emerge, all running down the ramp at once... another 19 women all rush down the ramp at once and roll into the ring, getting themselves a huge piece of the epic brawl.

Konata: And then there's the 20-woman Best of the Rest Battle Royal.  Anyone who isn't booked, myself included, is gonna get to be in a match where the winner takes home a little consolation prize...

As Ayeka and Ukyo lie unconscious on the entrance ramp, Osaka and Ryoko watch from the entrance stage and Konata watches from her announcer's table, the mass of 49 women brawling in the ring all at once is too much to take and the entire ring collapses.  The ring foundation cracks, the turnbuckles fall over, the ropes snap and everyone collapses in a massive heap.  The camera pans up from the carnage to Ryoko and Osaka standing on the entrance ramp.  Osaka runs over and grabs Ayeka's mic from her hand before walking back up the ramp, looking at her opponent.

Konata: And at the end, it's gonna be Ryoko and Osaka.  Two former Hearts of Japan, the two most successful women in this business' history, finally face off one-on-one in an Honor of the Ring match.

Osaka: Well... it looks like we're on our way, Ryoko.  It's been a really bumpy ride, and honestly, I'm really kinda sad that it's all gonna be over soon.  I'm gonna miss America, and I'm gonna miss all our fans, and all the really great friends I've made.  In a way, I'm even gonna miss the enemies I've made.  I really wish it wasn't gonna end.

Osaka tears up as she walks over to shake Ryoko's hand... but Ryoko grabs the microphone instead.

Ryoko: You can't cry at a time like this.  You know what you've gotta do?  You've gotta go into the end fists swinging.  Don't worry about the future.  Just worry about what I'm gonna do to you in what's gonna be the final match, worry about you and me making history in that ring.  We're gonna become immortal by what we do in that ring, leave people talking for years to come, and the legacy we've already left behind.  Like you said... no titles, no hatred, just two people leaving everything they've got in that ring like there's no tomorrow.  That's the definition of Extreme.

Ryoko tosses the microphone aside and reaches over, wiping away one of Osaka's tears.  Osaka smiles and she and Ryoko shake hands as the gargantuan brawl in the wreckage of the ring continues.

Konata: The definition of Extreme.  Nothing more needs to be said.  Thank you America.  See you back home at the EBW Arena in Japan next week for Night One of EBW Forever.

The camera pans across the ring area, capturing the whole brawl and the final handshake between Ryoko and Osaka.  The camera actually pans up, to the lights, and to the rafters above them.  Three figures stand there, watching the show from above.  The three are clad in all black... black bodysuits, black gloves, black boots, black trenchcoats and black full masks.  Not a single, solitary bit of flesh can be seen, although by body type one can tell that one is very tall and buxom, one is a bit tall and a bit busty, and one is short and built like a child.  The camera focuses on these three figures before fading out.